FortiClient WebFilter

un freno a mano sul sistema

de manera aleatoria, deja de funcionar internet

Dear Fortinet, I am writing to lodge a formal complaint against FortiClient, a software that, I suspect, is secretly manipulating the gravitational pull of my kitchen appliances. While I initially installed it for VPN purposes (or so I thought), it has become clear that its influence extends far beyond the digital realm, creating a cascade of baffling and frankly unsettling experiences. Firstly, my toaster. It refuses to connect to the Wi-Fi. I've checked the breadcrumbs, I've realigned the bagel settings, I've even tried sacrificing a burnt piece of toast to the router gods. Nothing. The only new variable in this equation? FortiClient. I'm convinced it's emitting some kind of anti-toast signal, a silent microwave of breakfast denial. Secondly, the notifications. They've evolved. They're no longer just about network connectivity; they're philosophical. "Is the cloud real?" one pondered. "If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, does it still make a sound?" another mused. While I appreciate the existential pondering, I'm trying to work here! Can I at least get a notification when my cat is plotting world domination? That seems more relevant. Thirdly, the resource usage. It's not just my computer; it's my refrigerator, my washing machine, and, I suspect, my neighbor's prize-winning petunias. They're all lagging. I'm convinced FortiClient is siphoning power from the entire neighborhood, creating a localized energy crisis. My electric bill is through the roof! I suspect FortiClient is using the excess energy to power its secret toaster-hating agenda. Fourthly, the user interface. It's now displaying in Klingon. I don't speak Klingon. I tried using a universal translator app, but it crashed. I suspect FortiClient is behind this too. It's clearly sentient and actively sabotaging my attempts to understand it. Fifthly, the VPN connection. It connects me to… somewhere. I'm not sure where. Sometimes I think I'm in Uzbekistan. Other times, it feels like I'm trapped inside a screensaver. I've developed a mild form of agoraphobia related to virtual servers. Sixthly, the documentation. It's written in hieroglyphics. I tried deciphering it with an online tool, but it told me I was cursed and should seek the advice of a shaman. I'm starting to think the shaman might be my only hope. Seventhly, the startup time. It takes longer than it takes to bake a cake. A very complicated cake. With multiple layers and a fondant dragon. I could probably write a novel in the time it takes FortiClient to boot up. Eighthly, the integration. It's integrated with my dreams. I'm now having nightmares about sentient firewalls and rogue network cables. I wake up screaming. My cat is judging me. Ninthly, the updates. They've started installing subliminal messages. I'm now compelled to buy more cheese. I don't even like cheese. I suspect FortiClient is manipulating my subconscious. Finally, the constant nagging. It's not about features anymore. It's about my life choices. "Are you sure you want to wear those socks?" it asks. "Have you considered a career in interpretive dance?" it questions. I feel like I'm being interrogated by my own software. In summary, FortiClient has transcended the realm of mere software and become a malevolent force in my life. It's messing with my toaster, questioning my existence, and dictating my sock choices. I demand answers. And a new toaster. Sincerely, A Very Confused and Slightly Paranoid FortiClient User