Heard: Make Up After a Fight

We don't fight because we don't love. We fight because we want so badly to be understood.

Heard walks you both through the conversation after a fight — one person at a time, in writing, slowly.

• Slow down together Breathe with the light three times, then both hold for three seconds to agree: for the next fifteen minutes, you only write.

• Write what happened Like a camera in the room: what it saw, not why. If “always” or “never” slips in, a gentle hint offers another way.

• Name the feeling under the anger Hurt, lonely, overlooked, scared of losing you… tap a word to start. What you write stays hidden until you've both finished.

• Hear each other Read your partner's words. You don't have to agree — just hear. If you like, say in one sentence what you heard.

• One thing I'll do Not a demand of your partner, but one small thing you can do tomorrow. Or choose to let one thing go.

• Stopping here tonight is also making up Some differences don't untangle in one night. Put it in “Knots still open” and get some sleep.

• Come back to each other If you both want to: sit closer, hold each other, take turns saying thank you. No timers — you set the pace.

Also inside • Pass one phone, or each use your own phone at the same time (QR pairing) • Not a big fight yet? “Say one thing” cards • Need to calm down first? Breathing, plus a private letter that's cleared when you're done • “Our promises” keeps how you understood each other — not a scoreboard

Privacy first On one phone, everything stays on that phone. On two phones, text is synced only temporarily and deleted from the cloud once both phones have saved it. No ads, no tracking.

Inspired by Gottman, Nonviolent Communication, Satir's iceberg, Emotionally Focused Therapy and Imago dialogue. Heard is not a substitute for professional counselling. If you feel afraid, threatened or controlled in your relationship, please put your safety first (US: National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-799-7233).