Consanguinity

What is Consanguinity?

You're at a family reunion, talking to your sweet grandmother. She cooked most of the mouth-watering food here. While explaining to her for the hundredth time why you're not yet married and why that's not a big deal in this day and age, I mean, come on, Grandma, it’s 2020-- "Hi, Great Grandma!" you hear a squeaky voice call out. You both turn to it as you realize it's your cousin's 4-year-old son. Your cousin's son.

There's got to be a term for that, you think. He's your...what? What is he? How is he related to you? You don't know. Your mind races. Think. If he's your cousin's son, then you are...second cousins? Do people have second cousins any more? You panic. Think! First cousins? First cousins twice removed? Ok, now you’re just making stuff up. You're rapidly losing your grip on reality. The world is a fog. Your grandmother stares at you with a perplexed and concerned look on her face. If you don't resolve this inner turmoil soon, she's going to ask you for the hundred and first time why you aren't yet married. THINK!

Amidst the swirling chaos in your mind, you remember that you recently installed an app to answer these burning questions. What was it called? You quickly reach into your pocket and pull out your phone. Ah, there it is. Your Grandparent is their Great Grandparent, you tell the app. In no time, you learn that you and this child are first cousins once removed. And not a moment too soon. You feel a profound peace, and a pleasant calmness washes over you. You smile contentedly. Your grandmother smiles back at you and nonjudgingly accepts your marital status.

That's Consanguinity.