Features & Capabilities

Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things.

Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him...

Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, laugh, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!?

Features:

Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items.

Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works.

Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey.

Standalone Story - The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but it's story can be played independently.

Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situation, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice - and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you...

Nonsense – Surreal, anarchic comedy. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic)

Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.

User Growth & Download Statistics

App
By:
Akupara Games
Rating:
5.00
(5)
1 new ratings
Version:
1.0 Last updated: 2020-12-11
Version code:
837964954
Creation date:
2020-12-11
Compatible devices:
Size:
2.22GB
Price:
3.99
URLs:
Privacy policy
Full description:
See detailed description
Source:
Apple Apps Store
Data ingested on:
2026-06-06
Compare stats and ranking:

Contact the developer

Chrome-Stats does not own this Apple app. Please use these information below to contact the Apple app developer.
Developed by:
Akupara Games
Apple Apps Store
https://apps.apple.com/fr/app/the-procession-to-calvary/id1533450600?l=en-GB

User Reviews

The font choice is unfortunate. It really hampers the game to read a very unpleasant font in yellow on tan…just why?
by hu*****, 2025-10-02

I love these games so much plz PLZ MAKE MORE
by hs*****, 2023-12-13

This game was feckin hilarious but also quite crude if that’s not your thing. Great puzzles, killer dialogue, lots of historical references for the attentive player. Had some insight on the nature of power underneath all the fart jokes
by Kn*****, 2023-03-16
View all user reviews ›

Best The Procession to Calvary Alternatives

Here are some Apple apps that are similar to The Procession to Calvary: