PetRocky

Now your rock squishes, bounces, and chips off little stones when you pet it — and still, gloriously, does absolutely nothing. Calmer, juicier, just as pointless.

Adopt a rock. That's it. That's the game.

Your rock does nothing — and it does it perfectly. Pet it, feed it minerals it won't eat, polish it to a proud dull finish, and watch the Zen flow in as your rock sits there, unbothered, thriving.

EARN ZEN BY DOING NOTHING Your rock generates Zen every second, even when you're away. It's not lazy. It's geological.

DRESS YOUR ROCK Googly eyes. A tiny hat. Sunglasses for a sun it cannot perceive. A crown, because it earned it by sitting still. A friend pebble — they will never speak, and they are best friends.

ACHIEVEMENTS Pet the rock 1,000 times. Reach Enlightenment. Own everything. History will remember none of it.

RANDOM EVENTS A bird may land on your rock and pay rent. A snail may challenge it to a race. The rock will win by not entering.

Just you and a rock, doing nothing together. Optional tips exist if you wish to thank the rock. It will display no gratitude.

Warning: the rock does nothing. That is the point.