Being Canadian

Being Canadian™ is your daily satirical briefing on the small, specific, often hilarious differences between Canadian and American life.

Each morning, three short stories land on your phone. Some skewer Ottawa, some skewer Washington. All share a dry sense of humour about the absurdities each country produces with admirable consistency.

What you get:

• Daily briefing in English or French, written fresh each morning
• Daily Trivia, five rotating questions on Canadian and American culture, history, and quirks
• 500 side-by-side cultural comparisons spanning healthcare, hockey, weather complaints, and the way each country abbreviates "decade"
• Safehouses map for documenting your favourite covert Canadian retreats in American territory, and vice versa
• The Translator for decoding the linguistic differences between the two cultures
• Politics tab with a satirical eye on both sides of the border
• Snowbird Substantial Presence calculator, so you know exactly how many Arizona days will trigger a tax conversation with the IRS

Full Citizen is an annual subscription ($79/year, the same number in Canadian and US dollars) with your first 7 days free. It opens the complete briefing archive, the residency day-counter and snowbird tools, premium features, and the alternate app icon for moments when you'd rather your iPhone not advertise its loyalty. Subscription auto-renews annually at the same price. Manage or cancel in App Store account settings. Cancel anytime.

Quebec users: the French edition is written in Quebec satire register, not translated American humour. Sacres légers in reported dialogue, never bouette.

About the satire: every institution, party, and political figure mentioned is treated with the kind of equal-opportunity contempt that comes from genuine affection for both countries. This app is parody. We are not affiliated with the Crown, the RCMP, Tim Hortons, the NHL, Hockey Canada, the Privy Council, the Tragically Hip, or any other organization mentioned. The Maple Leaf is real. The CFL is real. The rest is for laughs.

Welcome to the briefing.

You Belong.