Don Tzu

The scrolls of Don Tzu: part philosophy, part nonsense, entirely unserious. Enter the temple and pretend to meditate. No refunds on wisdom.

The ancient wisdom you never knew you needed.

Don Tzu — legendary dealmaker, self-proclaimed stable genius, and author of the timeless classic "The Art of the Deal War" — delivers pieces of profound (and profoundly absurd) wisdom.

Swipe through beautifully crafted scroll cards, each featuring original artwork and a saying that blends ancient Chinese military philosophy with modern dealmaking chaos.

Features:

original parody sayings Beautiful parchment scroll UI with swipe navigation Original character illustrations Share any saying as a stunning image card Topics covered: The Art of the Tariff. The Way of the Tweet. The Philosophy of the Wall. The Tao of Self-Praise. The Strategy of Chaos. And much more.

Whether you need daily inspiration, a good laugh, or something to send your group chat — Don Tzu has the wisdom.

This app is a work of parody and satire, created for entertainment purposes only. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to any real person, living or otherwise.