plants...but not real

Grow a plant. Try not to kill it. It will judge you either way.

Finally. A plant you actually can't kill. (Well. You can. But it's not real, so.) plants...but not real is a free daily plant care game for people who love the idea of plants but have a complicated history with keeping them alive. Pick a plant. Name it. Check in every day to water, trim, and weed it. Your plant grows over time — or dies if you forget. No real plants were harmed in the making of this app. YOUR PLANT HAS OPINIONS Every plant has a sarcastic personality and something to say about everything you do. Your cactus doesn't need you and wants you to know that. Your monstera is being dramatic again. Your rose expects better. Over 200 unique one-liners across 6 plant types — because your plant should at least be entertaining while it judges you. REAL WEATHER. REAL CONSEQUENCES. The app connects to your local weather. Raining outside? Your plant gets watered automatically. Heat wave? You'd better check in. Every day is a little different depending on where you are. GROW YOUR WHOLE GARDEN Adopt multiple plants at once. Each has its own personality, growth timer, health bar, and diary. A sunflower grows fast. A cactus takes its sweet time and is smug about it. FEATURES • 6 plants — succulent, fern, rose, cactus, monstera, sunflower • Real weather integration using your location • Daily streaks and health tracking • 5 growth stages per plant • 200+ sarcastic plant one-liners • Plant diary that logs every interaction • Daily reminders so your plant can guilt-trip you • Completely free For introverts, plant killers, casual gamers, and anyone who just needs something small to take care of.