Slow Social

NEW: 3 retro desktop themes — Windows 95, Vintage Mac, and CRT Monitor. Switch skins in Settings. The internet, the way it used to hurt.

Remember dial-up? Slow Social makes you wait through a full modem simulation before opening any social media app. Hear the screech. Watch the progress bar crawl. Experience the authentic agony of connecting at 28.8 kbps.

It started as a joke. Then it actually worked.

That 20-second wait? It's long enough to ask yourself: "Do I actually want to open this right now?" Sometimes the answer is no. And that's the point.

Slow Social is a friction layer for your social media habits — disguised as a 1997 time machine.

HOW IT WORKS Slow Social detects social media apps on your device. Tap one, and you'll sit through a full dial-up sequence — modem sounds, blinking LEDs, a progress bar, random connection speeds, and the occasional busy signal — before it finally launches. Every time.

RETRO DESKTOP THEMES Choose your nostalgia:

• Windows 95 — Beveled borders, gray everything, and that font
• Vintage Mac — System 7 pinstripe title bars and platinum chrome
• CRT Monitor — Green phosphor terminal glow

FEATURES

• Authentic dial-up modem simulation with real modem sounds
• Detects 29 social media apps on your device
• Random connection speeds from 9.6 kbps to 56.6 kbps
• Random fake ISP names (AOL Slow-Fi, CompuServe Deluxe Dial, and more)
• Adjustable busy signal probability (0-100%)
• Phase-accurate TX/RX LED indicators
• Connection Log tracking all your dial-up attempts
• Home screen widget showing your connection stats
• Siri Shortcuts integration — "Dial up Instagram with Slow Social"
• Setup Wizard to create home screen shortcuts and hide real app icons

MINDFUL MODE (T1 Premium Line) Turn the parody into a real screen time tool:

• Per-app daily connection limits
• ISP operating hours — block access outside your schedule
• Cool-down timer between connections
• Connection speed degrades with overuse
• Full widget stats with weekly totals and top apps

Set your own rules. Break them if you want. But you'll have to sit through the dial-up again.

HONEST ABOUT DATA Slow Social itself collects nothing — no analytics, no usage tracking, no telemetry. Your connection log, settings, and theme stay on your device. We don't even know you installed this. Free users see banner ads from Google AdMob, for that authentic 90's dial-up experience. Google collects standard identifiers for ad serving (no personalized tracking — we don't ask for that permission). Upgrade to T1 Premium Line to remove ads entirely.