Nintendo Today!

It was a sunny afternoon and I was scrolling in YouTube, like normal. The next Nintendo Direct had just been announced, and I realized; the only reason people know about the Nintendo Direct was because of Nintendo Today. That’s where the announcement came first. So I decided to give it a try. After struggling for 5 minutes, I closed YouTube and went into the App Store. I downloaded the app, set it up, and everything was great. A few hours later, I went to go get some pizza for a party I was throwing later. On my way to the pizza place, I looked out my car window and saw a fire hydrant. But this fire hydrant was not a normal fire hydrant. It had the face of Mario. I blinked. It was still there. Nobody was in the road, so I pulled over to look at this anomaly. Right as I stepped out, I heard it say, “It’s-a-me, Mario!” Shocked, I stumbled back to my car and kept driving. But every fire hydrant I saw from that point had the face of Mario. I tried taking a video of it and sending it to my friend, but he said it was just a normal fire hydrant. I was extremely puzzled. After I got my pizzas, I checked the boxes to make sure they were all accounted for. But believe it or not, one of the pizzas, (specifically Neapolitan) had its toppings arranged in such a way that looked like Super Mario. I heard it say, “Hello little stylus!” I screamed, and threw the pizza at the wall where nobody could hear it. It kept screaming and saying nonsense, even on the wall. I recorded the entire thing, but when I sent it to my friends, they all heard nothing and called me crazy. I threw my phone in rage. I debated them, because I know I am a sane man. But then I realized, this was all this app’s fault. I never got hallucinations like this before downloading this app. And so, I deleted the app. But the hallucinations won’t go away. My friends don’t like me anymore and my family won’t talk to me. I keep thinking the planes in the sky are actually Arwings and the moon is crashing down wearing a horrible face. Don’t download, for your own sanity.

Really enjoying this app. It’s like a little Nintendo power straight to your phone every day!