The 36 Questions: Lead to Love

Look each other in the eye.

The 36 Questions is based on an article written by Mandy Len Catron for Modern Love essay, “To Fall in Love With Anyone, Do This,” in which she refers to a study by the psychologist Arthur Aron (and others) that explores whether intimacy between two strangers can be accelerated by having them ask each other a specific series of personal questions.

The idea is that mutual vulnerability fosters closeness. To quote the study’s authors, “One key pattern associated with the development of a close relationship among peers is sustained, escalating, reciprocal, personal self-disclosure.”

There are 36 questions that you can answer with your partner in 36 Questions. At the same time, you can record or video the whole process as a souvenir. If your partner is not with you, you can still make a card with the questions and leave your answers to share with your partner.

After answering all the questions, the 36 Questions will remind you to lock eyes with your partner, which is the last thing Catron and her friend try in the article. Ms. Catron was unequivocal in her recommendation. “Two minutes is just enough to be terrified,” she told me. “Four really goes somewhere.”