Verb Phrase

It is with great pride that we bring you this technological absurdity, for it was no easy feat to reach the depth of incompetence needed to do so. But at least we have a cute beaver. So there's that, I guess.

Who are we?

Three Canadians in a trench coat masquerading as a corporation.

What is this app all about?

I don’t know. And I'm not being glib, either. On a deep, existential level, I have no idea what this app is. The Greater Fool's naivety? An absurdist optimism in the goodness of people? The claw marks of a beaver being dragged into a darker, more cruel world? At the end of the day, I made the app because I wanted to. So perhaps that's what this app is about: doing something for the sake of doing it. But whatever the case may be, here we are, and I am so deeply sorry.

How does the app work?

Like a social media app. We have journals that focus on long-form content, including text, images, video clips and equations, because why the heck not. We also have quips for short-form text (brevity is wit and all that jazz) plus clips and pics, which are pretty self-explanatory. There's a bunch of other stuff scattered throughout the app as well, but you'll figure it out. This tech isn't rocket science, it's merely an affront to Man. To the very act of existence, itself.

And you can click on green stuff, too. Just click on green stuff and you’ll figure it out along the way. This said, I should note that there are two places where one can comment on posts: Responses and Discussions.

Discussions are also self-explanatory, but Responses are a bit different and are intended to be a way for posters to engage with individual commenters in a friendly and collaborative way. When you leave a Response, everyone can see it, but only you and the original poster are able to respond to each other-- sort of like your own personal comment thread. Only we will auto-reject any response that contains naughty stuff. Maybe you’ll like this feature, or maybe it’s stupid, but either way it’s a thing that exists.

Do you really hate Saskatchewan?

Heck no. Everyone loves Dog River. And Moose Jaw, which is easily the greatest name of all-time. I even built a dam out that way, once. Birch, maple, ash, oak, elm. There's some fine wood around those parts.

What’s with these advisories?

I figured the internet would benefit from a content advisory system akin to the one we use for television.

Our rhetoric models are built around the idea that, "It's not what you said, it's how you said it." Or to speak more formally, these rhetoric models do not use neural networks and do not look at semantics. You can turn this advisory system off in the settings panel if you find it annoying. And if you want to see the content behind an advisory, just click the big green button. Super easy. And if you want to use these advisories in your own app, you can do so via the link below.

https://parabasis.io/

Is there anything else I should know?

Well... putting the playful self-deprecation aside, we do find ourselves living in cynical times. Which is understandable, but also wrong. Our reaction to the cultural moment should not be one of cynicism and a refusal to hope. It should recognize and celebrate fundamental truths of the human condition. People are good. Kindhearted. And capable of wonderful things. Terminal irony hides these truths from us, and I think that's what this app is about. The goodness of people, and a sincere desire to try and be a little bit better today than we were yesterday. Making this app and the associated advisory system is this beaver's way of trying to make the world a little bit brighter. Maybe it will. Maybe it won't. But you can't beat something with nothing.

With Love,
Beau | The Beaver King of Verb Phrase